A Very Long Rant About Clickhole Sites, Feminism and Editors Who Can't Edit

Last night, I began ranting at Gideon at 7 p.m. and I didn't stop until 8:30 p.m. I rarely get seriously riled up about something, so I think it surprised him a little. In lieu of writing my whole rant here, I'm going to abbreviate the points in a list. It makes it easier for you to read and it makes me less angry to recall it. Really, we all win here.

• 7 p.m. - "I hate Buzzfeed! The titles on these lists are so pandering and stupid. Look at this! One of her posts is '23 People Who Definitely Have This Sexting Thing Down.' What is that? That's so dumb. The fact that she has to write 'sexting thing' instead of 'sexting' to be all cute. It isn't cute! YOU AREN'T CUTE BUZZFEED WRITER SO PLEASE STOP. And the stupid attempt at irony with the word 'definitely.' This is so stupid! I hate this!"
• 7:30 p.m. - "And you know what, this writer seems super focused on insulting other lifestyles to boost her own. She wrote some bullshit titled '25 Reactions When Someone Asks Why You Don't Want to Have Kids' and then another titled '23 Things Single People Never Have to Worry About.' You know what Buzzfeed writer? I'm perfectly happy in my long-term relationship and someday when I have kids I'm sure I'll be happy with that too, unless they don't like Lost - in which case I'll return them to the hospital."
• 7:45 p.m. - Gideon interrupts me to suggest that this kind of mindset stems from insecurity. I respond, "Well she should be jealous. My life is awesome. I have a boyfriend and a job and all she has is some articles on a clickhole site and probably a bottle of wine at home. But I've got that too so I still win." (Ed. Note: I was not serious about this; it was really an example of proper use of irony and humor, which still insults the Buzzfeed writer but on a professional, not personal, level. So I'm still classy and all that jazz.)
• 8 p.m. - "I want to get married and have kids and have a career, and it's people like her who make it more difficult for women to do this. If she doesn't want to have kids, that's fine. But she can't hate on people who do or make her life seem so much better than mine because I chose a path she didn't. This is just as bad as those people who say I'm going to neglect my family for my career or my career for my family. GO FUCK YOURSELF SOCIETY."
• 8:25 p.m. - "OH MY GOD. This writer has 'editor' in her job title and several of her comments have unforgivable grammar errors. DO YOU SEE THIS COMMA SPLICE? DO YOU? DO YOU? 
• 8:30 p.m. - "YOU DIDN'T PUT ENOUGH SALT IN THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE MIX. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to sound angry about that."

I am lucky Gideon puts up with me. If not, the cat would have to hear all my rants about feminism and grammar and professionalism. I'm sure he'd enjoy it but he has no way to tell me that, which would severely strain our relationship.