Auld Lang Syne

New Year's Eve is upon us.

Despite my need to differ as much as possible from public opinion, I have always considered New Year's Eve one of the most romantic holidays. I used to imagine how I'd celebrate NYE when I was younger, having spent all of my holidays with my mother. (I love my mom, but she's not exactly the person I want to make out with at midnight.)

I imagined being at a huge party with sparkly everything surrounding me. I could see the countdown to midnight, voices chanting three two one all around me until Auld Lang Syne indicated the end of the year. I hoped I would feel some kind of unfounded hope you can only feel when beginning a year with a fresh slate. Most importantly, I wanted to be with a person who loved me as much as I love him or her. 

The song "Cars and History" by Strays Don't Sleep perfectly encapsulates the collective hope associated with NYE:

 December 31st/11:59/I had to let it go/I had to let it slip/funny how it all works out when you're giving up on it

My expectations for NYE were always over-the-top and really kind of insane, so it's no wonder that I was disappointed year after year once I turned 18 and began spending the holiday away from my family. I basically ended up spending NYE at home watching television with a bottle of wine, which wasn't a terribly tragic way to celebrate but wasn't the most exciting either.

Last year was different. Boy was last year different. Last year, for the first time in my life, I had one of those NYE kisses you only see in romantic comedies. It was the first time Gideon and I ever went anywhere together. We weren't even dating, so I had little expectation for the night besides seeing a band.

For Christmas, I bought Gideon a ticket to see the Old 97's in Dallas at the House of Blues. He introduced me to the band, so it was a half-Christmas and half-thank you gift. The band was great. I could describe the performances. Considering one of the opening acts featured nudity and a spoken-word song about the perils of giving oral sex, I could describe them in such detail that you will be as repulsed and entertained as I was.

But I don't remember too much about the show. I do remember Gideon holding my hand and putting his arm around me the whole time. I remember the way he looked at me when Rhett Miller, the Old 97's lead singer, began counting down to midnight. Though Gideon and I had kissed before, I suddenly felt incredibly anxious about what would happen when Miller reached one.

He did. Gideon kissed me, and I realized that it is possible to feel one year transition into another. I just hadn't been with the right person to feel it until that moment. This isn't from the actual show, but I hope this video will give you some idea of the experience:

This year, we're in Orange Beach, Ala. with his family and we are dating. Everything has changed and, for the first time I can remember, I can pin-point when it did.

Happy New Year and all that. May this year be better than the last, or at least just as good. I went into 2014 trying to remain skeptical about all the good in my life lest it end abruptly. I'm going into 2015 knowing there is magic all around. I hope you do too.