Sam's Sauna

When I'm tired, I get really weird. The past couple weeks have been so busy at work that I've been returning home later than normal and, in turn, have become a zombie version of myself. This zombie person often has strange ideas.

Last night, I had one of these ideas. I was taking a bath with lots of bubbles (I will forever reject bathing if it doesn't involve bubbles) and splashing around as I am wont to do. Gideon was in the kitchen rolling, cutting and baking Christmas cookies. I called out to him.

"What?" he called back.

"I should have a talk show in the bathtub! It could be called 'Sam's Sauna!' My guests would get in the bathtub with me." I added that we wouldn't be naked because that would be weird, but there would be lots of bubbles.

Then, for reasons I still do not understand, I launched into a Wendy Williams-esque monologue. "Today, folks, we are discussing VAJAZZZZZZZZLING! My guest knows a lot about vajazzling. She whispered to ghosts, she knows what you did last summer and she recently starred on The Client List. Everyone welcome Jennifer Love Hewitt! Come on out, girl! Get in this tub!"

Gideon was in the kitchen still and I couldn't hear or see him, but I'm almost certain he started questioning why he's dating a woman who creates her own talk show in the bathtub. Oh well. If he leaves, at least I'll have my imaginary talk show.

(If you're wondering, I did brainstorm other topics and I have many. These topics include: teen brides, dogs who talk to ghosts, fall fashion roundup, people with huge egos, which Home Shopping Network items are most/least useful and parents who date their child's friends.)