Cohabitation Probs: Bodily Dysfunctions

Though I started the segment "Cohabitation Probs" last year, I've had very little to write about. Gideon and I usually get along really well. We're both clean and we both tolerate each other's pop culture interests. The only wedge between us is the cat when we're trying to cuddle and he forces himself in the middle for maximum attention. 

But this morning, Gideon told me something so heinous that I realized why so many people find it difficult to live together. Last night, he said, I fell asleep with the cat on my chest while watching a movie. He was scrolling through Reddit on his phone when it happened.

I farted. Loud. So loud, in fact, that BJ woke up and ran away in terror. Gideon said the fart caused him to drop his phone in fear and elicited whimpering noises from sleeping-me. He laughed when he told me this and continued to laugh when I told him I was blogging about it.

So there you have it, folks. My advice? Never think you've achieved domestic bliss. Because the moment you do, your body will betray you in ways you never imagined. 

(On a side note, before Gideon and I started dating and continued to claim we were just friends, I was sleeping at his place when I farted so loud it woke me up. Terrified he'd heard it, I started fake snoring really loudly to convince everyone in a 100 mile radius that I was asleep and, in turn, not responsible for my bodily functions.)