Potty mouth

It's probably no surprise to any of you that I curse. I curse a lot more than I'd readily admit - I even cursed five minutes before I sat down to write this because I saw a really big spider next to my chair. What can I say? It's how I express myself.

My job doesn't help at all. I work in a newsroom and I hear people yell out "Fuck!" at least once a day. It has encouraged me to express myself even louder, if that were ever possible.

That said, I rarely choose to express myself that way around Gideon's family. This is mostly because I am polite but also because most of his family members do not find it acceptable to flip off someone who has mildly annoyed them like my nana does. (Man, I love my nana. She's the best.)

I don't often slip up around his family, and that is absolutely a conscious thing. It's especially difficult when I'm driving, because I have the inherent urge to call every bad driver a fucker. But I stop and remind myself that I'll get to curse as much as I want when I get home. That usually sates me.

Unfortunately, there are moments when I can't exactly quiet myself. I had one of those moments yesterday.

I went to use the bathroom and promptly dropped my phone in the toilet. My work files are on that phone, so I was predictably freaking out. This is what I screamed verbatim:

"NO. NO. NO. NO. SHIT. NO. NO."

I realized that Gideon's mom, her partner and about five younger kids could hear me right after this happened. Of course I started freaking out about that, so I had two panic attacks in one. Despite what late night infomercials will tell you, it was not pleasant.

When I finally calmed down, I left the bathroom with my head down and apologized quickly for cursing and ran to my car. I do not handle anxiety well, if you can't tell.

I asked Gideon last night if everyone heard me, hoping he'd say I was quiet as a mouse.

"You project well," he responded.

Of course I was upset at this, so I cursed.

Mom, Nana - I blame you.

(And I thank you, because I am a character and people always call me that with positive connotation. I think. Maybe.)

P.S. In the context of the story, I'm super proud of how punny the title of this post is.