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Monday, August 17, 2015

Murder she (me!) wrote

Gideon and I have been watching a lot of Forensic Files, which is the perfect show to watch if you want to feel paranoid about every choice you make. 

Forgot your wallet at home and have to run out to your car early in the morning to pick it up? You're going to get kidnapped. Leaving the store late at night and no one's around your car? Someone's going to pull up and shoot at you. Finally found the person you want to spend your life with? That person is going to murder you.

It's terrifying how many of the cases featured on that show might not have happened had the victim made one different choice. The case that sticks out to me is this older couple who was vacationing in a town where they stayed in a condo. (I was immediately  jealous that they had their own condo.) The couple never returned home; it turned out later that they were murdered by this awful couple who wanted to kill another couple for the thrill of it.

How many times a day do we do things that could land us in that same situation? Just last week, Gideon and I met two schoolteachers from Texas during our nightly walk. The teachers offered us wine and we sat down and chatted for two hours. It was pleasant and I enjoyed it, but I realize now that they could have easily drugged us or killed us. 

(I must note that they did not drug or kill us and instead gave us wine and talked about Texas politics. At the end of the night, one of the women told me that I'm beautiful and I was so intoxicated that I laughed and fell over. As you can see, I'm getting better and better at accepting compliments from strangers.)

The problem is Gideon's tall and strong but completely lacks body awareness, and I'm big and wide but can only inflict damage by accidentally sitting on people's limbs or hair. We wouldn't stand a chance against someone who wanted to kill us.

I suppose the fortunate thing is that forensics would solve the crime rather quickly. So yes, we could be axe-murdered but our killers would likely leave a fingerprint or other DNA evidence behind. 

If you're wondering, yes, this is how I sleep at night. 

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