We became friends in the first grade before either of us developed any strong political views. This was a time when our most difficult decisions were which playground equipment to use that day. It was a simpler time in every way, and it enabled us to build a friendship neither of us will ever have again.
I don't say that to demean the friendships we've developed since; I just mean that you gain an intimate understanding of someone when you've known them since grade school. I have a similar relationship with my friend Kasey, who I met when I was around 10 or so. Both friends were there for some of the worst times in my life.
When my grandfather killed himself, they were there. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, they were there. When my personality changed abruptly because of an abusive relationship, they remained friends with me and have been amazingly supportive since I explained what was going on under the surface.
(Kasey and I had an on-and-off friendship throughout high school because we both have very strong personalities, but we've both calmed down now and our friendship is better than ever.)
The memories I have with those two can't be rivaled. I remember spending long days at my nana's pool with them and singing at the top of our lungs in the car when we had all just turned 16 and drove for the sake of driving. Dora's first boyfriend broke up with her the same year my first boyfriend broke up with me, so we spent a lot of time venting about how stupid those boys were.
As we got older, we all started to realize that we didn't share the same views. I was more or less the odd man out; Dora and Kasey shared basic beliefs (conservatism and Christianity) while I began developing distinctly liberal views. The neat thing about it is that we could, and still can, have discussions about these things without attacking each other.
I told Gideon this recently, and he said that's likely because we see each other as people rather than opponents. I don't fear telling Dora how I feel about hot topics like gay marriage, abortion and, recently, the Josh Duggar scandal because I know she'll listen to what I have to say. She doesn't assume I'm a bad person because I'm pro-choice, and I don't believe her anti-gay marriage stance reflects negatively on her.
Most of this is because we express ourselves respectfully. Though we will never have the same worldview, we share compassion and respect for others. That, I think, is what makes our friendship so phenomenal. I give Dora a lot of credit for putting up with me, because I know I sometimes come across as brash when I don't mean to. Fortunately, she's known me long enough to understand what I mean, not just what I've said.
The same is true for Kasey. She has told me in the past that something I've said offended her, and I've been quick to apologize for it. Like Dora, she gives me the benefit of the doubt. I hope I do the same thing for them.
These girls understand me in ways few people do. I've had such wonderful memories with both of them, and I've had equally wonderful conversations with them about politics and religion. I think there's a lot of value to having friendships like this; if I were surrounded by people who believe exactly as I do, I think I'd be much more likely to insult those who don't.
As it is, I'm grateful for the variety these friendships have brought my life. We believe different things, but we love each other all the same.
And that's all that matters.
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