He's baaaaaack

So Ryan Murphy has a new show coming out Sept. 22. It's called Scream Queens and it stars the magnificent Jamie Lee Curtis and Emma This-Totally-Isn't-Nepotism Roberts. (In Roberts' defense, she was wonderful in Scream 4 and season three of American Horror Story. I still have to rag on her for obviously riding the coattails of her famous family, mostly because I wasn't a fan of her turn as Nancy Drew and will never forgive her for it.)

She will never be Nancy Drew to me.  

As many of you know, I am an avid fan of the horror genre. My favorite horror film is Scream, but I love even the worst films in the genre. I Know What You Did Last Summer? Love it. Student Bodies? A huge fan. Saw? Pretty suspenseful. Sleepaway Camp? Give me more of that transsexual goodness. 

I'm really not picky about horror movies as long as they're suspenseful and entertaining. I'm also a huge fan of dark comedies, so you can imagine how excited I was when I read the synopsis of Scream Queens. It is being described as an amalgamation of Heathers and Friday the 13th. THOSE ARE TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS! 

In fact, I love Heathers so much that I judge people based on their reaction to it. Heathers is a very dark comedy about two teenagers who kill the popular kids and frame it to look like suicides. It has amazing funeral scenes like this one:

Shannen Doherty never looked better.

So Scream Queens is a horror-comedy television show starring the original scream queen and hearkening back to the slasher flicks I love? There's comedy thrown in, too? I should love this series. I should be planning Sept. 22 around it. Unfortunately, it's produced and written by Ryan Murphy.

I have a big problem with Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy has created shows I love and then butchered them so badly that I began to question if hope is real. He started with Nip/Tuck, an F/X show about plastic surgeons Sean McNamara and Christian Troy. 

The first three seasons of Nip/Tuck were really good, but then Murphy started working on Glee and decided to phone it in with his first show. It was a lot like the time my father remarried and conveniently forgot about me for four years. (I'm joking. He forgot about me way before that.)

When Murphy started American Horror Story, he decided Glee could fend for itself as well. I'm sure he was still working on these shows, but he appears to have a limited focus and can't give everything to multiple shows at once. I get it, Ryan Murphy. You aren't Superman. I'm not either. But then again, I have never created an amazing show about two morally-ambiguous plastic surgeons and ended it by killing several important characters for seemingly no reason!

I started watching American Horror Story before realizing it was a Ryan Murphy production, but I was in too deep by the time I figured it out. Of course the end of the show's first season fizzled out and disappointed everybody. Ryan Murphy has no problem starting things; it's finishing them that trips him up. Sadly, he has a good creative vision at the start and always leads viewers to believe something better is to come.

And now he's producing another show I'd love if it were created by anyone else. Why do you have to do this to me, Ryan Murphy?

I'll admit that I will watch Scream Queens anyway, because Scream: The TV Series just ended and I have low standards for all television after Lost ended in 2010. I hope it will be good, but I'm pretty sure I'll feel empty and angry once it's over.

Ryan Murphy, you suck. You suck so much I'm going to watch everything you've ever created just to complain about it. Are you happy now?

Are you?