High-drocodone

For the three days following my surgery, I was so heavily doped up on hydrocodone that all I did was take selfies with the cat and watch reality television. (Otherwise known as living the life.)

On Saturday, I interrupted these activities for an online-shopping interlude. Gideon described it the day after as "the most responsible high shopping [he had] ever seen." I started by bitching about how everyone says I never spend money on myself and finally deciding that I would buy something for myself and I would do it right now. After coming to this decision, I checked my bank account to see how much money I could spend without taking anything out of savings and having enough left to pay rent and utilities with.

I decided on $30. Then, I cross-referenced two websites - Forever21.com and thredup.com - before choosing to shop at Forever21. It started small - a beanie here, a pair of Minnie Mouse socks there. And before I knew it, I had spent $31.50, including shipping and handling.

This is what I ordered, since I know you're absolutely dying to know:

• a pair of Minnie Mouse socks
• a black and white striped beanie
• a pair of stud earrings (that cost $1.50, so I'll probably be buying more in two weeks after they break)
• a headband set
• a head wrap (I think this was the dumbest purchase because I am not a slave in the antebellum period and, in turn, definitely cannot pull this look off)
• elastic hair ties 

And yes, I was upset that I went $1.50 over my budget.