Recipes and workouts and cat photos, oh my!

Gideon works Fridays and Saturdays, which means I get to watch  and do whatever I want for eight consecutive hours. It brings out the worst in me.

Last weekend, I watched cooking competition shows without break while telling myself, "Hey, I could make that. Wait...no I could not." Seriously, why would I ever think I could create a flaming dessert in our small apartment kitchen? I'm lucky I'm so lazy or I might have burned the apartment down by now.

Today, I'm watching Bridezillas - or as sane people call it, The Fall of Humanity. It is terrible. One woman just pushed her elderly mother out of a moving vehicle because the stupid matriarch ordered white, NOT RED,  roses for the wedding ceremony. Real quote: "I want it the way I want it! I hate white flowers!" The mother hasn't been featured much since that scene, so I'm assuming she's recuperating in a hospital and will, unfortunately, miss seeing all those hideous white roses at her daughter's wedding. Such a sad fate.

I try to exercise while watching TV, hoping it might add something meaningful to a day full of people portraying the worst version of themselves and claiming it as reality on my television. Sometimes I go for a walk; yesterday, in fact, I walked for two hours and promptly died once I finally sat down. When I'm not torturing myself outdoors, I stay inside and do the 100 Workout. I first heard about it after my ex-boyfriend was trying to get in shape (he gave up a week into it), so I can at least claim something good came out of that relationship. It's pretty awful, but it doesn't take long and I still feel as if I've died when I'm done, so all in all I'd say it's successful.

Before Gideon gets home, I try to clean up as much as possible and start dinner, even if it's tuna salad or oven nachos. I don't know why I compared oven nachos to tuna salad; oven nachos are the bomb. We had some last night, and had I played into my generation and snapped a photo of them before inhaling everything in one bite, I might have photographs to prove how delicious they were. As it is, you'll have to take me at my word. Here's the recipe - along with calorie information, because I love you - if you're so inclined to try it out:

Sam's Oven Nachos

• 28 tortilla chips (I used On the Border chips because that's what Gideon bought, but if your housewife buys another brand, don't sweat it)
• One can of black beans
• A half cup of corn
• One cup of cheddar cheese
• Lots of salt
• Sour cream
• Salsa

Place the chips on a baking sheet. Cover in beans, then corn, then cheese. Sprinkle a small amount of salt between layers if you're cool with heart disease, which I totally am. Bake at 350 degrees until your smoke alarm goes off, or until all the cheese is melted. Add salsa and sour cream to taste. 

It's 1,465 calories for the whole thing, but if you split it with someone it's 732.5 calories, which isn't bad if you didn't eat anything all day because your boyfriend works really late on Friday nights. 

So, in a nutshell, that's how I spend my free time. Basically, I do nothing. Because you trudged through this post, I'm attaching a few photos of BJ being a super-adorable yellow tabby and Gideon just being super-adorable.