What Was I Saying?

Do you ever catch yourself talking and realize that you should probably stop but you can't? This happens to me all the time. I'll get on a subject with someone and I'll completely wear the subject out; upon realizing this, I become uncomfortable and continue to talk in hopes of digging myself out of an awkward conversation I started and continue to aggravate.

I do this most often with my mother, mostly when we're talking about something that honestly doesn't matter at all. I once ranted about Christina Aguilera's coaching on The Voice for an hour, being well aware around the thirty-minute point that I had already exhausted the issue (or, rather, non-issue). "She's so mean to Melanie Martinez," I recall saying around the forty-five minute mark. And I really didn't like Melanie Martinez. I'll let the beautiful Shakira describe the situation for you:

(On an unrelated note, how does Shakira pull off blonde hair with her complexion? I think she's a freak of nature and I don't understand how she is so beautiful all the time. I've looked up photos of her not wearing make-up so I can certify that she is beautiful all the time. Well, except for her ad for Crest WhiteStrips where she is photoshopped beyond the point of recognition but somehow she is still beautiful because she is Shakira.)

See that? Right there? ^^^^ That is what I do. I can't stop talking, which is ironic because I work in a field that often requires succinct, quick writing. I actually do really well when I interview people for my job, where I become "Career Sam." Career Sam is much different from the person I normally am. She walks with purpose and speaks with purpose and cracks appropriate ice-breaker jokes. I wish I could be her on a daily basis, but when I clock out, I morph back into this terrible person whose only power is making awkward situations even more awkward. You'd think I could channel my nine to five persona but when I get around people who know me really well, I lose all ability to censor myself. 

I've worried about this with my boyfriend's family. While I haven't cracked a terrible joke about Kim Kardashian yet or carried on a conversation about Lost too far, I've come really, really close quite a few times. (Though, to be fair, Lost is the best television show of all time no matter what anyone has to say about it.) I think I'll let them get to know me really well before I unleash myself on them completely. By then, they'll be so invested that they can't just say "Umm, Lost was okay" and move on. That's the way it works, right?

Right?!?!