12 Dates of Christmas
Netflix synopsis: Set up on a blind date with handsome Miles on Christmas Eve, Kate gets 12 chances to relive the date over and over again until she sets things right.
*Gideon commentary is in red.
*Sam commentary is in black.
The rundown: Amy Smart portrays Kate, a chick who is super hung up on her ex-boyfriend. Her dad's new wife sets her up with a dude on Christmas Eve hoping Kate will get over Jack already, but Kate screws it up immediately by taking a phone call from her ex and excusing herself from the date. Her date's name is Miles and I feel the need to mention that he's played by the same guy who played Zack Morris. From here on out, I'll refer to him as Zack Morris. Kate meets up with her ex after ditching Zack Morris and learns that he is going to a cabin with his new girlfriend over the holiday. Apparently Kate had hoped they'd reunite. She goes home and cries a little.
But when the clock strikes midnight, Kate wakes up the previous afternoon. A salesperson doused Kate in magic perfume that has cursed her to repeat Christmas Eve Groundhog-day-style! Or it's the barking of the little dog that Kate's ex dumped on her. Or it's a magical home shopping infomercial that transports her back. It's not ever explained. Kate rightly thinks that's she's having a psychotic episode. Her doctor is an affable quack who just wants to go home for Christmas, so he tells her she's fine. Kate gets to relive her terrible date, and tries to win back her gross ex where she finds out he's planning to propose to his new girlfriend. But fate re-intervenes, dumping Kate back in the sales department on Christmas Eve.
This time, she shows up at the same place where her ex is ring shopping for his new girlfriend. She has a passive aggressive conversation with him before suggesting the round cut. Then, she screws up her date again. This is repeated in some fashion for the rest of the movie. During each new day, she learns something new about the people around her and reveals a few things about herself, like how she freaked out when her mom died and drove her ex to leaving her. She says she just didn't want to be alone like her father, but apparently that's not enough to make her have sympathy for her. How dare she be upset over the death of her mother! What a harlot.
The movie goes on for a surprisingly long time. It's about 45 minutes into the ordeal before Kate has the "hedonism scene" common to time loop films. She spends an Eve or two eating donuts and buying Ferraris. Fun! Most of the time she tries to solve the loop by getting closer to Zack Morris or by meeting the many people in her life that she ignores. She bonds with everyone, but fate continues to trap her in hell. Yay Christmas! Anyway, the Zack Morris character is obnoxiously perfect. He's a hockey coach/landscape architect/halfway house operator/puppy haver/dashing widower. Despite his annoying flawlessness, he's a lot more tolerable than most of the gross romantic leads in these kinds of films. Kate falls in love with him, because he's perfect. But how will she escape the loop?
She escapes it by bringing all those people in her life together in some way at a big party and by making out with Zack Morris as the clock strikes midnight. All is well! Love is real! Merrrrry Christmas!
He said: "Tolerable" is such a terribly backhanded compliment. But in this case, I really consider it praise. I've watched more than my fair share of doofy festive romcoms over the past two weeks. This film had all of the pitfalls of the standard Hallmark claptrap. But despite the dumb premise and tired subgenre cliches, 12 Dates of Christmas was kind of cute. It might be the acting. The script is nothing special, but a lot less grating than expected. There are some issues with the pacing. It's hard to keep track of time in loop films, and Kate's ordeal starts to really drag by the last twenty minutes. I should dislike the mannequin Adonis that she falls for, but the actor plays him softly enough that it's hard to hate him.
Perhaps this is the side effect of watching a dozen odd bad Christmas films. It ain't bad.
Feminism: "I am healed through my quest for a dude."
Shoehorned Christmas cheer: Well-integrated. Maybe that's why it works.
Sequel potential: Let's not and say we did.
Manly sighs: Disturbingly few.
Donut gluttony: Kate finds a hair salon that serves donuts.
Candy canes: 3
She said: I remarked today that Gideon and I have been rating movies more generously now than we did when we started this review series. "We've seen so many bad movies that adequate ones get rated super highly now," I said to him. That, I think, is why I liked this movie so much. It takes what would be a tired plot in another film like this and creates complexity. It's not super complex, but as far as movies in this genre go it is pretty incredible.
It really is just an enjoyable movie. Zack Morris doesn't hurt.
Sappiness: An appropriate amount
Gore level: Not nearly enough
Cute animals: One dog
Loud kids that are supposed to be cute but are really annoying: None
Zack Morris: A LOT
Candy Canes: 4
Final Score: 3.5 Candy Canes
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