Dear Santa
Netflix synopsis: Finding a letter mailed to Santa by a little girl asking for a new wife for her daddy, twentysomething Crystal sets out to make the girls dreams come true.
The rundown: Dear Santa is a familiar film. Its premise is more or less identical to All I Want for Christmas with a gender swap. Crystal is an idle woman from a fabulously wealthy family. Her mother, who is skyping from a green screen, is have a "tropical vacation" of some kind. Mom and Dad aren't too happy with Crystal's lack of direction, so they mildly shake their fingers at her. Crystal wants to make something of her life, so she ventures out into the world. By happenstance, she comes across a kid's Santa letter. Since Crystal has a strange definition of privacy, she reads the letter and resolves to answer the girl on Santa's behalf. This is cute and not stalking at all!
She begins following the girl and finds that her father runs a center for the homeless and hungry in town. Of course she volunteers there, because that's not creepy in any way. While doing this, she discovers that the girl's father is with a really terrible woman who he dated in college. They broke up when he met his wife who later died, so he started that relationship up again for some reason. Crystal offers to babysit for him when he has to run off on a job and she begins bonding with the little girl. The little girl shares way too much about her life to a total stranger, saying she wishes she had a real mom and that she wants to go shopping and do stuff her dad can't do with her.
Crystal falls in love with daddy and girl alike. The shelter's excessively gay head chef, who totally rocks a hot pink uniform, gives her sassy advice on how to seduce the boss. Not-ex hates Crystal, because she's a creepy younger woman muscling in on her man. Fortunately for our heroine, the movie plays Not-ex as pretty repulsive character, so that we can ignore her stalking and obsessive characteristics. Unfortunately for all of our characters, those evil land developers from All I Want for Christmas have crept into Canada! Their tentacles are slowly wrapping around the homeless shelter, squeezing the due to "unpaid rent." What monsters! I bet they're going to build a shopping mall out of the children's hospital too.
Crystal grows closer and closer to Widow Dad, which makes Not-ex hate her even more. Not-ex lucks out when she finds Crystal's purse in the bathroom and sees the Dear Santa letter inside. She uses the letter to convince Widow Dad to cut Crystal out of his and his daughter's lives. This upsets Crystal. Then she learns her parents have cut her off, which upsets her too. She does receive a $10,000 check as a Christmas gift from them. This is the exact amount Widow Dad needs to pay to get his community center back. What happens next? Will Crystal spend the rest of her life crying in her apartment about how she didn't get with that widow guy who she stalked for a while after finding his daughter's letter to Santa?
Nope! Crystal decides to save the shelter. She wins back the sexy widower and adopts the girl. Everyone is happy! I'm guessing she joins her new husband's snowplow business. There's a subplot where she learns that manual labor is her calling. Everyone wins except Ex-again!
He said: This was dull. This was boring. This sure was a TV movie. Part of the problem was that I've seen a dozen-odd cheap Christmas romcoms in the last fortnight. But while Hallmark fatigue is a very real problem that's not a flaw specific to this movie, Dear Santa has several others. The lead has very low charisma and is a frightfully vague character. She likes shopping, dancing and unnerving grins. Her underwritten arc makes her look more than a little psychotic, which is Not-ex's entire argument against her! Sexy dashing perfect widower is also as blandly superlative as they come. That's practically a requirement in these films, but it is still detrimental. At the very least, the daughter is not nearly as irritating as Jesse in All I Want for Christmas. Small comfort.
Feminism: Low
Shoehorned Christmas cheer: It's adequate.
Sequel potential: Crystal and the chef open a diner, trade "witty" banter.
Manly sighs: Several.
Evil land developers: They're back!
Candy Canes: 2
She said: Didn't I just watch this movie?
Sappiness: Too much
Gore level: Not enough, and there was potential with that snow plow
Cute animals: I think I saw a dog at one point
Loud kids that are supposed to be cute but are really annoying: Yes
Deja vu: A lot
Candy canes: 2
Final score: 2 Candy Canes
She begins following the girl and finds that her father runs a center for the homeless and hungry in town. Of course she volunteers there, because that's not creepy in any way. While doing this, she discovers that the girl's father is with a really terrible woman who he dated in college. They broke up when he met his wife who later died, so he started that relationship up again for some reason. Crystal offers to babysit for him when he has to run off on a job and she begins bonding with the little girl. The little girl shares way too much about her life to a total stranger, saying she wishes she had a real mom and that she wants to go shopping and do stuff her dad can't do with her.
Crystal falls in love with daddy and girl alike. The shelter's excessively gay head chef, who totally rocks a hot pink uniform, gives her sassy advice on how to seduce the boss. Not-ex hates Crystal, because she's a creepy younger woman muscling in on her man. Fortunately for our heroine, the movie plays Not-ex as pretty repulsive character, so that we can ignore her stalking and obsessive characteristics. Unfortunately for all of our characters, those evil land developers from All I Want for Christmas have crept into Canada! Their tentacles are slowly wrapping around the homeless shelter, squeezing the due to "unpaid rent." What monsters! I bet they're going to build a shopping mall out of the children's hospital too.
Crystal grows closer and closer to Widow Dad, which makes Not-ex hate her even more. Not-ex lucks out when she finds Crystal's purse in the bathroom and sees the Dear Santa letter inside. She uses the letter to convince Widow Dad to cut Crystal out of his and his daughter's lives. This upsets Crystal. Then she learns her parents have cut her off, which upsets her too. She does receive a $10,000 check as a Christmas gift from them. This is the exact amount Widow Dad needs to pay to get his community center back. What happens next? Will Crystal spend the rest of her life crying in her apartment about how she didn't get with that widow guy who she stalked for a while after finding his daughter's letter to Santa?
Nope! Crystal decides to save the shelter. She wins back the sexy widower and adopts the girl. Everyone is happy! I'm guessing she joins her new husband's snowplow business. There's a subplot where she learns that manual labor is her calling. Everyone wins except Ex-again!
He said: This was dull. This was boring. This sure was a TV movie. Part of the problem was that I've seen a dozen-odd cheap Christmas romcoms in the last fortnight. But while Hallmark fatigue is a very real problem that's not a flaw specific to this movie, Dear Santa has several others. The lead has very low charisma and is a frightfully vague character. She likes shopping, dancing and unnerving grins. Her underwritten arc makes her look more than a little psychotic, which is Not-ex's entire argument against her! Sexy dashing perfect widower is also as blandly superlative as they come. That's practically a requirement in these films, but it is still detrimental. At the very least, the daughter is not nearly as irritating as Jesse in All I Want for Christmas. Small comfort.
Feminism: Low
Shoehorned Christmas cheer: It's adequate.
Sequel potential: Crystal and the chef open a diner, trade "witty" banter.
Manly sighs: Several.
Evil land developers: They're back!
Candy Canes: 2
She said: Didn't I just watch this movie?
Sappiness: Too much
Gore level: Not enough, and there was potential with that snow plow
Cute animals: I think I saw a dog at one point
Loud kids that are supposed to be cute but are really annoying: Yes
Deja vu: A lot
Candy canes: 2
Final score: 2 Candy Canes
No comments:
Post a Comment